The Lord is my honesty.
I long for you, O my
Heart.
I strive to be
more like you.
I see you from afar,
and wish to be pulled in to your
loving embrace.
I see my chains
and wish for You to
free them once more.
You are my protector
yet,
I feel vulnerable.
O Constant of my
soul,
still this storm in
my heart
Release me from
myself
You are my savior,
my eternity.
All things that benefit me come
from You.
You have saved me from
the sword of my enemies for 26 years.
I pray, Lord, that you
save me from them again,
I desire to feel
your love over me
like a
cool ocean breeze.
I long to see
you in all that
I see.
You, O my beauty,
are the only one I want
to desire.
Silence the voices
in this world
pulling me away
from You
Come quickly,
O my Lord,
for I am poor and needy,
and You are my Deliverer.
Today in class we wrote all had to write a Psalm about where we were at with God. And this was my Psalm. I originally wrote The Lord is my ..... at the top of my paper. I sat there for a good couple minutes thinking of cool metaphors or similes that I could use in my Psalm. I couldn't think of anything. I eventually gave up and starting writing what is above and realized that I wasn't where I thought I was. After writing the Psalm I went back and added the word "honesty" to the sentence. I realized that the Lord is taking me into a place of honesty with Him. And I guess that also means honesty with you.
The last month has been all sorts of things. Exhausting. Rough. Calming. Exhausting. Frustrating. Peaceful. Chaotic. Exhausting. Sad. Emotional. Joyful. Exhausting.
I think you have seen a pattern in this time. I have absolutely loved this past month, even in its exhaustion. About a month ago I knew that my grandmother Irma was quite ill. After hearing from the doctor's it became apparent that she would be going home to be with Jesus soon. After much prayer and back-and-forth I decided to go home for the funeral. After my loving grandma passed away, we booked my flight and made preparations to be home with family during this time.
So I went back to Wisconsin. I went to the visitation and the funeral. And it was hard. I love my grandma and miss her dearly. I had hoped to have another Christmas at George and Irma's house with her famous table of food. Delicious food. I was surprised, however, at the joy of my family. How we focused on the life of my grandmother instead of her death. Yes, we were sad she was gone. But we found solace in remember her in stories. Telling some of our favorite "grandma Irma stories." It was a sad time, but a time remembering a life well lived. A life that deserves to be remembered.
So I spent a couple more days with friends and family and flew back. The time there was very good, but once again, exhausting. The constant driving to and from places, planning things, flying to Wisconsin, flying back. The emotional toll of everything. I was tired.
And during all of this I was staffing a DTS that had just started. I picked up the students and had a very fun, exciting, exhausting, adventurous day. And I hadn't really gotten to rest before I got to the states. All that comes with staffing a DTS, the planning, prayer, facilitating, and everything else is so worth it and so great. But it is also so tiring. And I flew back in the middle of this. I could go on and on about what has happened and why I have been so tired, but that isn't the point.
The point is God wants me to be real with Him. And honestly, God? I'm exhausted. I'm physically tired of all the work and things that have happened. I'm emotionally tired because of my grandmother passing away and all the excitement of a new DTS. And I'm spiritually exhausted because I have not been resting in You. I have Romans 8:38-39 tattooed on my wrist. It says "For I am sure that neither death nor life, angels nor rulers, things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." And I want to be reminded of that every hour of my life. I want to choose You, Lord, over anything sinful this world has to over.
And that is where I am at. Exhausted with myself and everything and choosing God and knowing that he will give me the energy and the strength to carry on.
So about this DTS I am staffing. It's great. I love all the students. To the students reading this. You're great. Thanks for reading my blog and supporting me. Y'all are so life giving for me. It has been so encouraging seeing them all chase after Jesus and grow more and more. I can't wait for what they do next and to see how God works in them. They are 17 students and they are all the best. If you're on base here reading this then get to know them. They inspire me. The teachings have been fantastic and I have been learning a lot, which I will blog about soon!
The dream team. The four housemates on the right and Ricky on the left. I love them all and look up to them all. I couldn't ask for better friends. I love you 4 guys and can't wait to see what the next couple years brings.
Heart.
I strive to be
more like you.
I see you from afar,
and wish to be pulled in to your
loving embrace.
I see my chains
and wish for You to
free them once more.
You are my protector
yet,
I feel vulnerable.
O Constant of my
soul,
still this storm in
my heart
Release me from
myself
You are my savior,
my eternity.
All things that benefit me come
from You.
You have saved me from
the sword of my enemies for 26 years.
I pray, Lord, that you
save me from them again,
I desire to feel
your love over me
like a
cool ocean breeze.
I long to see
you in all that
I see.
You, O my beauty,
are the only one I want
to desire.
Silence the voices
in this world
pulling me away
from You
Come quickly,
O my Lord,
for I am poor and needy,
and You are my Deliverer.
Today in class we wrote all had to write a Psalm about where we were at with God. And this was my Psalm. I originally wrote The Lord is my ..... at the top of my paper. I sat there for a good couple minutes thinking of cool metaphors or similes that I could use in my Psalm. I couldn't think of anything. I eventually gave up and starting writing what is above and realized that I wasn't where I thought I was. After writing the Psalm I went back and added the word "honesty" to the sentence. I realized that the Lord is taking me into a place of honesty with Him. And I guess that also means honesty with you.
The last month has been all sorts of things. Exhausting. Rough. Calming. Exhausting. Frustrating. Peaceful. Chaotic. Exhausting. Sad. Emotional. Joyful. Exhausting.
I think you have seen a pattern in this time. I have absolutely loved this past month, even in its exhaustion. About a month ago I knew that my grandmother Irma was quite ill. After hearing from the doctor's it became apparent that she would be going home to be with Jesus soon. After much prayer and back-and-forth I decided to go home for the funeral. After my loving grandma passed away, we booked my flight and made preparations to be home with family during this time.
 |
| George and Irma Lindstedt. An inspiration for life, love, and how to be the coolest. |
So I spent a couple more days with friends and family and flew back. The time there was very good, but once again, exhausting. The constant driving to and from places, planning things, flying to Wisconsin, flying back. The emotional toll of everything. I was tired.
And during all of this I was staffing a DTS that had just started. I picked up the students and had a very fun, exciting, exhausting, adventurous day. And I hadn't really gotten to rest before I got to the states. All that comes with staffing a DTS, the planning, prayer, facilitating, and everything else is so worth it and so great. But it is also so tiring. And I flew back in the middle of this. I could go on and on about what has happened and why I have been so tired, but that isn't the point.
The point is God wants me to be real with Him. And honestly, God? I'm exhausted. I'm physically tired of all the work and things that have happened. I'm emotionally tired because of my grandmother passing away and all the excitement of a new DTS. And I'm spiritually exhausted because I have not been resting in You. I have Romans 8:38-39 tattooed on my wrist. It says "For I am sure that neither death nor life, angels nor rulers, things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." And I want to be reminded of that every hour of my life. I want to choose You, Lord, over anything sinful this world has to over.
And that is where I am at. Exhausted with myself and everything and choosing God and knowing that he will give me the energy and the strength to carry on.
So about this DTS I am staffing. It's great. I love all the students. To the students reading this. You're great. Thanks for reading my blog and supporting me. Y'all are so life giving for me. It has been so encouraging seeing them all chase after Jesus and grow more and more. I can't wait for what they do next and to see how God works in them. They are 17 students and they are all the best. If you're on base here reading this then get to know them. They inspire me. The teachings have been fantastic and I have been learning a lot, which I will blog about soon!
 |
| Ricky, Me, Josh, Pepo, and Diego. The dream team. |
Comments
Post a Comment